i want to thank purps for the suggestion of running a PAE kernel as that is the solution that worked for me as i dont have 64 bit processors, so now the server detects all 12 gigs.
But, i have another question, my purpose for having this server is running virtual box as a development environment, and i have discovered that there are some extra steps to run kubuntu 10.04 in virtual box and i was wondering if you wanted me to documents my findings in the wiki, or not because 10.04 is just a thought right now.