All good Ildefonso. Maybe you can help us in other ways. What are your skill-sets?
I completely fell for the joke...
Anyway, besides being easily fooled (
1. I'm an electronic engineer. In this field: instrumentation (sensor conditioning), protocol implementation (I have implemented ModBus over serial line on microcontrollers, and the SHT11/15/71/75 sensors 1-wire protocol (non-standard)), power electronics (triacs, power mosfets, transformers and stuff), interfacing, some basic PLC (I like more to work with uC than PLC, but there is people who love PLCs, so...).
2. I have been working with network-related stuff for around 10 years or so.... firewalls, VPNs (OpenVPN mainly, but also IPSec), Linux-based servers (web, domain, LDAP, Proxy, VoIP (asterisk, basic), mail, most of this, integrated with LDAP).
3. I have done some programming projects, no big deal: PHP and perl (for clients and myself), and C / assembler (microcontrollers, Atmel's AVR, mainly), C on x86 (text-based things), unix shell scripting (bash).
That's pretty much it. I have always wanted to implement some sort of home automation for my house.... but never got the time, nor the money
If you need help on any of these fields, just ask, I may be able to help.....