To follow up to my own query - the qees reto shell has two types of inclusion, network inclusion and manual inclusion.
The triple click initiates network inclusion, this didn't work. I'm guessing that's a limitation of the ACT controller?
Once I navigate the qees menus and select manual inclusion, then add node my device is added successfully.
Now the manual with the device doesn't give this info, only after reading the on-line manual did I discover this. It is referred to as "Learn Mode" in the supplied booklet.
Once I get the qees reto dimmer operational I'll update the wiki entry for it.